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Let me try to make you laugh


Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post
in Microsoft Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply :

"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks"

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said:

"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai."

Everyone was delighted.

Laloo prasad continued......

"Ab main aap sab ko apnaa Appointment letter padkar sunaongaa - par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath hindimain translate bhee
karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ..... Pyare Laloo prasad
bhaiyya

You do not meet ---- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ---- humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----
ab Letter vetter bhej ne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.

No phone call ---- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat
nahee hai
shall be entertained ---- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks ---- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyawad.........







Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an auto rickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yamahad already decided that he should be sent to HELL.

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public.

Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc.

Then why the didfferential treatment? He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just asked on opinion or pre conceived notions.



Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and Passes.

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR....." Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy. Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence?". He replied "1947" and passed.

Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.

It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the st! ruggle. Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.



Moral of the story : IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE !!!




Here are the SMS...

Ek dost ka wada hai, marte dam tak nibhayenge, maut aayi to tumase pehale ham jayenge, tumako naa bhul payenge isiliye tumhe bhi saath le jayenge....

Science has proved that sugar dissolves in water, so plz don't get wet into the rain, otherwise I will lose a sweet friend of mine.So take care....

Only open heart receive LOVE, only open mind receive WISDOM,only open hands receive GIFTS, and only special people receive SMS from me....

Kya aap close-up karate hai? kya aap mobile rakhate hai? kya aap bills bharate hai? to phir aap SMS kyaun nahi karate hai????

Days r 2 busy... hours r 2 few... Seconds r 2 fast.... but der is always a time for me to ask... How r U?

Every Second God remembers U..Every minute God bless U.. Every Hour God is with U..Because... Every day I pray God to take care of U...

Feels good when somebody MISSES U, better when somebody LOVES U, but it feels best when somebody NEVER FORGETS U....so U can feel the best now....

Husn bana to aashique bane, sharaab bani to maikhane bane , aapaka SMS aaya to lagaa yunhi to nahi Pagalkhane bane !!!

Tuzi ni mazi don jiwanchi kahaani, mi ardha veda aani tu Didshahani !!!!

Khana - pina - sona free.... rehana bhi free.. sabkuchh free... just dial 100 !!!

Fulon mein haseen gulab hai, padhane ke liye jaruri kitaab hai, duniya mein har swaal ka jawaab hai, agar koi muzase tumhare baare mein puchhe to kahunga
lajawaab hai !!!

Missed call se ek baat ka pata to chalata hai ki shayad hame koi yaad to karata hai... call nahi kiya to kya..hampar chand lamhe barbaad to karata
hai !!!

24 hrs make a Lovly Day...7 days make a Lovly Week, 4 weeks make a Lovly Month, 12 months make a Lovly Year, and knowing some1 like U makes a Lovly Life...

Can U send me ur photo urgently? Mind it's very very much urgent and important. V r playing cards and missing Joker !!!

Kya aakhein hai, kya baatein hai, aisa lagata hai jaise....jaise....jaise.... kisi peepal ke ped se koi BHOOT utar aaya hai !!!

Raat ki tanahaiyon mein hum aap ko aawaj diya karate hain..chand - sitaron se aap ka jikr kiya karte hain... na aao hamare khwabon mein hum BHOOT se daraa karte hain !!!

A friend is some1 u shud not need, but some1 u shud always want... so do u want me?

Yash Johar is producing a new film and is searching 4 a new talent.I've suggested ur name.Plz go and meet him.The movie's name is "Akkal ho na ho"!!!

This message will refresh ur brain in 5
seconds.....5.......4.......3......2......1.......Error : No Brain Detected....

When I pray God , I don't see God, but I know HE listens...! When I SMS U , I don't see U, but I know U read it with a million dollar smile !!!

Another month, another year, another smile,another tear, another winter, a summer too, but there can never be another U..bcoz God doesn't make the same
mistake twice !!!

U may have some1 in ur mind, some1 in ur heart, some1 in ur dreams, some1 in ur life... but I'm ur some1 when U have no1....

Jaan hai mujh ko zindagi se pyaari, jaan ke liye kar dun kurbaan yaari, jaan ke tod dun dosti tumhari.. ab tumase kya chhupana.. tumhi to ho jaan hamari !!!

May U have happiness as big as Ganeshji's Ears, may ur problems b as small as His Mouse, may ur life be as long as His Trunk and moments as sweet as His Modak !!!

Today,Tommorrow and forever the will be one heart that would always beat for U...You know whose????................ Your own silly !!!!!

I'm missing U so much & dying to c U but..this...this...this...wretched Security Guard at the zoo is not letting me in without a ticket !!!

Darde dil sehana aasaan nahi hota, kimati cheez ke har koi kaabil nahi hota...yeh to rab ki meherbaani hai warna aap jaise POPAT ke paas mobile nahi hota !!!

Jo patton ne kaha shakhon se, saagar ne kaha leharon se..suraj ne kiranon se aur aasmaan ne kaha badal se..wohi aaj main tumse kahata hun...E CHAL CHAL HAWA AANE DE !!!

Good looks catches the eyes but Good personality catches the heart.You are blessed with both !!! Flattered? Don't be...It was sent to me.I just wanted
you to read it !!!

Good Morning !!! Have U done two of the most important things when U woke up today? 1. Pray God so dat U may live 2. Take a bath so dat others may live 2oo !!!

Some1 asked me once "Have U ever missed anybody so much?" It made me stop and think..then I smiled bcoz I was thinking of U...I miss U...

Mon ko F'ship....Tue ko Love... Wed ko Engagement...Thu ko Shaadi...Fri ko
Zagada...Sat ko Talaak...Sun ko rest...Mon ko Next... !!!

Aasoo tere niklein to aankhein meri hon.... Dil tera dhadake to dhadakan meri ho.. bhagawaan kare tu pyaar aise nibhaye ki .. nokari tu kare aur pagaar
meri ho...

I saw something in a shop window.It was stunning, cute, simply adorable.I was supposed 2 buy it 4 U, then I realised it was my reflection !!!

To live a life, one need brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expressions and many more mental qualities... Hats off to u bcoz u manage 2
live without them !!!

Once an angel came upto me & granted me a wish.I asked 4 "World peace"."That's impossible",he said.Then I asked him 2 give u Brain.He
said, "Let me try 4 World Peace!"

From Mon to Sun, from Jan to Dec, from Birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed.For me, you've always been.......a HEADACHE !!!!

1 day U'll b surprised 2 c me bside u, U & ME laughing, U & ME crying, U & ME dreaming, U & ME holding on, U & ME.. just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL and Me checking U !!!

If you save this msg, it means I'm cute.If U edit this, I'm still cute.If U forward this, U r spreading that I'm cute & if U erase this, U r jealous of me bcoz I'm cute...

Dark were those day, without ur sight.When I was in darkness, you gave me light.You gave me strength 2 make life bright.Thank you so much PHILIPS
TUBELIGHT...

Lucky star dropped on Earth one night.It asked me, "What do u want - A Million Dollar or A True Friend?" I had to choose Million Dollar as I have U
!!!

Aap jaise dost hamein kuchh khaas lagte hain, man me har waqt ham ek aas rakhte hain, na jaane aa jaye kab SMS aapaka, isiliye Cell ko dil ke paas rakhate hain !!!

Friends are like puzzle pieces.If one goes away, that piece can never be replaced & the puzzle will never be whole again.You are a piece I will keep FOREVER !!!

Congrats !!! Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game.To play, just throw your cell against the wall and arrange the pieces back !!!

Let me kiss ur lips, let me feel ur teeth, let me taste ur tongue..smile.... This is ur friend COLGATE reminding u that it's time to brush ur teeth !!!
Gud Morning !!!

You are attractive, generous, intelligent, smart, charming, sophisticated, kind and generous !!! Infact u r bcoming like me day by day !!!

Aajakal man kar raha hai ki main tumhe kabhi bhi mauka dekh kar sabke samane 1.... k .... ki.....kis.....kiss.................kissa sunau Ramayan wala !!!!

Karz dostika ada kaun karega? dost na ho to dosti kaun karega? ai khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhana warna meri shaadi me dance kaun karega????

Y'day one tear came out of my eyes.When I asked y u came out..then it said that there is somebody came in ur eyes hence no space remained for me....

Suraj hua maddham..chand bhi chalane lagaa... main thehera raha..jameen chalane lagi... sajna kya ye mera pehala pehala pyaar hai? Nalayak ye pyaar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai... bhaag !!!!

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho..itna katil kaise sharama lete ho..kitani aasani se jaan le lete ho...kisine sikhaya hai ya bachapan sehi
kamine ho?

Aapako miss karana roj ki baat hai..yaad karana aadat ki baat hai..dur rahana kismat ki baat hai..magar aapako zhelana himmat ki baat hai !!!

Aap hamari galime aaye...thoda sharamye..thoda itaraye..thoda muskuraye..aur
chillaye...BHANGARWALA....

If I am disturbing U..................I am sorry! But I need to say that..............I...................I
Love.................. disturbing U !!!

Zindagi behaal hai, sur hai na taal hai, msgbox bhi kangaal hai.. kya aapaki SMS factory me hartaal hai.. are yaar kuchh to bhejo aakhir mere mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai !!!

If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT", But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than having a HEART without U !!!!

Logon ko kehte suna aksar..zinda rahenge to phir milenge..magar iss dilne mehsoos kiya hai... milate rahenge to zinda rahenge !!!

Nobody wants U, Nobody makes U
happy,Nobody loves U, Nobody misses U, Nobody wants good for U, Nobody cares about U..Don't Cry ! My name is Nobody !!!

Girls misuse it ! Anger robs it ! Models sell it ! Photographs cage it ! Doctors advice it ! Death freezes it ! Artists create it ! That's Smile...
Keep Smiling !!!!

Laila ko Majnu ka SMS nahi aaya, Laila ne 3 din khana nahi khaya, Laila marne wali hai Majnu ke pyaar mein aur Majnu baitha hai SMS Free honeke intezaar mein !!!

Galelio : Great Mind , Eistein : Genius Mind , Newton : Extraordinary Mind, Bill Gates : Brilliant Mind , ME : Master Mind... U : Never Mind !!!

I am getting married next week.There will be a small party and only a few people will be invited. Don't bring any gifts.Just bring someone to marry with me !!!!

I wanted to kill the sweetest , smartest and the most beautiful person on the earth, but then I thought...... SUICIDE is a crime !!!

I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful....I look at U....I.......I......I'd rather look at the moon again !!!

Woh chuma le ek baar to aati nahi neend...unki aawaj sunate sunate hi raat jaati hai beet.. isiliye kehati hun yaaro..ye risk na uthao..KACHHUWA JALAO
MACHCHHAR BHAGAO !!!

Last night I dreamt of U.... Today morning my first thought was U...I thought of U the whole day.. I think...I LOVE U....... 2morrow I'll be
thinking of V,W,X,Y, and Z. !!! :))

Kahan ho? jahan ho wohipe rahna... 3-4 ghante tak bahar mat nikalana...tumhari jaan ko khatara hai... bahar BANDAR pakadne wale ghum rahe hain !!!

Sometimes I forget to ask How are U? Sometimes I even miss 2 say Hi ! But it
doesn't mean that I forget U...I'm just lazy....Like U !!!!

Sunsaan sadak ke paas wale sukhe hue peepal ki tuti hui tehani ke murzhaye hue patte par baithe hue uddas bhoot ke tute hue dilse tapakte hue gande khun ke bimaar bacteria...How r U?

Gr8 people talk about ideas... Average people talk about things.. Small people talk about other people... and LEGENDS never talk..they just...SMS like me !!!!

Pataa nahi marne par hameub jannat mile na mile..ye fiza..ye aalam...ye dosti mile na mile..SMS karane mein kasar mat kar ai dost..maalum nahi waha mobile mile na mile..

Everytime I miss U..a star falls from the sky...so if U see the sky and its all dark.. it's ur fault.... bcoz U made ME miss U so much !!!

Tuzh sa koi dusra is zameen par huwa to rabse shikayat hogi.... ek to zhela nahi jata...dusra aa gaya to kya haalat hogi !!!

Roses are red..sky's are blue...Monkeys like U..shud be kept in zoo... Don't get angry, you will find me there too , not in the cage but laughing at you !!!








STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS


BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
him, what virtue would I beshowing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
and at the same time."

Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in parts of
Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son

















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